Teach Me Chinese
by ningJA
Summary: Phinks asks Feitan to teach him Chinese, not considering fully the consequences of it all.


**If there's OOCness, I apologise. Other than that, enjoy!**

* * *

"Hn?" Feitan looked up from his book. "Teach you Chinese?"

The blonde nodded earnestly, lighting a cigarette. "Yeah. Teach me some Chinese phrases."

Feitan stared at Phinks and considered the thought. _Maybe not. _"No. I has better things to do. And don't smoke here. Disgusting."

Phinks frowned. "Fei, please," he extinguished the cig. "We're already in China and I still can't speak a word of Chinese! Come on."

"Translator," Feitan held up a phone in response.

Phinks grunted. "That takes too long."

Feitan knew this, too – when he was young and still struggling with basic Japanese, he found out that a translator didn't help much, especially in fast-paced conversations, or in times of emergencies.

Feitan briefly recalled that time when Phinks ran around half of France trying to find a toilet because he had the runs, _and _because both of them knew not a word of French, _and_ Phinks' translator was destroyed due to a series of unfortunate events, while Feitan's was experiencing lag. Though amusing it resulted in a waste of time and effort, and Feitan wasn't keen on repeating it again.

"Fine," the short man sighed, and closed his art book. "What you want to learn?"

It seems that Phinks had also recalled the same unfortunate event. "Where's the toilet?"

"厕所在哪里？" Feitan replied impatiently. He wanted to get back to his book.

"Hm. Ce suo zai na li." Phinks repeated after his companion. "Ce suo zai na li?"

Fei nodded. "What else?"

* * *

About half an hour has passed, and Feitan was immensely bored – he'd already returned to flipping through his art book. It was no matter, anyway – Phinks was a fast learner. He'd already learnt some basics phrases that meant "bill", "cash", "hotel", and the classic – "die".

Satisfied, the Egyptian was about to leave the room the duo shared for a real smoke, but then he remembered something. Something he wanted Feitan to say, for a very long time now. But first, he needed something introductory.

"Fei," Phinks said. "How do you say 'I am Phinks'? In Chinese?"

Feitan stared at the man for a while, judging him, before he replied. "我叫Phinks. I'm called Phinks."

"Wo jiao Phinks," Phinks said tentatively. "Then, how about…" _Crap, he had no idea how to do this discreetly._ "How about, "Phinks is smart?"

The black-haired man dropped his book. "What?" Feitan wanted to laugh. Badly.

"I know you heard me." Phinks grumbled. "Come on. I _could_ pick up girls."

"Pf-fft," Feitan chuckled. _Pick up girls?_ "Ha ha. Ha ah, ha."

_Phinks, picking up girls?_ For some weird reason Feitan couldn't picture that, and the mental image he had of Phinks now was more amusing than ever. "You won't be able to pick up girls, Phinks."

"Hey! I won't know till I try, okay?" Phinks replied defensively. His ego had somewhat been hurt by Feitan's laughter.

"Fine," Feitan said, still laughing, but now slightly calmer. "I teach you. I teach you."

You see, Feitan had an idea. An ingenious one, at that.

"Repeat: Phinks是个笨蛋." Feitan said, mask barely covering his smile.

"Phinks shi ge – wait. You're not teaching me weird stuff, are you?" Phinks asked warily. He'd noticed the slight change in Feitan's mood.

"If you don't believe me, use translator," Feitan replied nonchalantly, and acted as if he was more interested in his book.

"Wait, Fei," Phinks said. "I trust you. Could you repeat that once more?"

Feitan closed his book once more, and repeated patiently, "Phinks是个笨蛋."

For some reason, Phinks felt a sense of happiness. A type of calm joy. Contentment? Maybe it is. "'Phinks shi ge ben dan.' Is that correct?" Phinks tried repeating the sentence.

Feitan smiled under his mask, and nodded in approval. "Correct, but you need practice."

"Got it, thanks," Phinks replied, before going outside to take a smoke. After all, he knew Fei didn't like the smell.

* * *

It was two days later when Phinks, after a chance encounter with Shalnark, found out the true meaning of the words. The two days and the meeting itself provided Feitan with an amusing source of entertainment, and a flustered Phinks.

* * *

**For those non-Chinese speaking friends out there, "Phinks是个笨蛋." essentially means "Phinks is an idiot".**

**Thanks for reading!**


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